Drag Me To Hell
by dimweepersxstrikexagain
Summary: 2 daemons are stuck as Murdoc's guardians after his deal with the Devil. They're not happy. Features our recurring OC's,FEATURES ALL OF THE GORILLAZ, all is explained in our own twisted way as you follow their story. Rated T for Murdoc's language :


Drag Me To Hell

CHAPTER ONE

_In Which A Contract Is Signed_

**Clutching my cure**

**I tightly lock the door**

**And try to catch my breath again**

**I hurt much more**

**Than any time before**

**I have no options left again…**

Murdoc Niccals, aged 21, sat in the pentacle chalked on the floor reading from the grimoire that he held in his left hand. Around the edges of the pentacle were scattered various objects, all designed to enhance the powers of the ritual and enable him to summon Lucifer, the King of Lies, the Fallen One. More commonly known as Satan. Five black wax candles were steadily melting at each of the pentacle's points, while salt was scattered around the perimeter to add an extra layer of protection from whatever he managed to summon. Murdoc began the ritualistic chant.

'_Satanae__i__vocare__te per__sanguinem,__sulphur et__ignem__faceret contractus__i__Sancto.__Vos__o__mihi__animam meam pro__pignore__cecidit unum__summum omnium__daemonum.__Spiritus meus__in__altissimis habito__gradus__autem__rogo__concede__mihi hanc__gratiam__.__O__Rex__est__, da mihi__magnificentia__coram__te__.__Satanae__i__vocare__te per__sanguinem,sulphure__et igne__promissionis__contractus__animae__ligant__i__fac__tibinostra usque__ad hanc__pentacle__signatur__.' _

He closed his eyes and waited as he finished. The edges of the pentacle began to glow and blur while the outer ring became a burning ring of fire that roared up nearly as high as the roof. Murdoc's eyelids flickered as he winced from the heat, then snapped open as he heard a deep laugh. He glanced around. The fire had died down but standing just beyond the salt ring was a tall figure, shrouded in shadow. Piercing red eyes glared down at him, the boy began to feel uneasy about his decision to summon Satan to the mortal plane. The figure opened its mouth and began to speak in a rumbling voice.

'Who summons me? I am Satan, the first and greatest of the daemons, what is it that you want?'

Murdoc shivered as he closed the grimoire. His voice shaking slightly he replied.

'My name is Murdoc Niccals! I'm 21 years old…'

The voice sighed, 'I wish to know what you want. I didn't ask for your bloody life story.'

Murdoc was taken aback. 'Alright then. Down to business. I want to have the greatest band in the world…'

'And money…and fame...and power…Am I right?'

'Um…yeah. Mostly.'

Satan sighed. 'Standard contract then. Your soul and you get your hearts desire. Sound fair?'

Murdoc gritted his teeth and nodded slowly. 'And I don' wanna die anytime soon!'

'Fine, I'll give you a daemon's lifespan, though in return, when you do eventually die, you become one of my servants of the dark.'

Murdoc nodded. 'Fair digs.'

Satan looked at him blankly, 'Excuse me?'

'You know? Fair one? It's a deal?'

'Oh right. I'll remember that.'

'Fuck me. Satan doesn't know slang.'

'Shut up or the deal's off.'

'…fine…'

Satan clapped his hands together and a small daemon appeared holding a contract, handed it to him and the disappeared in a flash of fire. Satan whipped out his specs and quickly read through. He looked up to see Murdoc's jaw hanging open.

'What?' Satan growled.

'You wear glasses?'

'Sometimes…They make me look business-like.'

'Right. Where do I sign anyway?'

Satan pointed to a dotted line. 'There. Idiot.'

'Well excuse me. Have you got a pen?'

'…no…'

'Oh for fuck's sake.'

'No, wait, here.'

'Thanks.'

'No problem.'

Murdoc signed. Satan took the contract from him and handed it to another daemon who appeared by his elbow.

'File this under 'M'.'

The daemon bowed, 'Right away Sir.'

Satan turned back to Murdoc.

'This is goin' to take a couple of years to come through. We're a bit backed up at the minute.'

Murdoc looked at him disbelievingly.

'Backed up? Your fuckin' Satan! How many people make deals with the Devil?'

'Bloody red tape…God's been messing with the filing again. Bastard doesn't know which way's up.'

'Never had much time for him meself.'

'Have you thought about joining Satansim? It's an up and coming religion.'

'Really?'

'Yeah, really. Here, have a leaflet.'

'Thanks mate.'

'Right well, as to your contract, I'll send the confirmation with your guardians alright?'

'Guardians?'

'They'll stop you from dying and are there to make any amendments to our little deal as necessary.'

'Ah, I get you.'

'Right, well. I'm off. Got another summoning due. Some twat in California's lost his car keys.'

'People summon you for that?'

'Sadly so.'

'Fuck me. Life must be a bitch.'

'It is. Now I really must be going.'

Satan stamped three times with his cloven hoof on the wooden floor boards, leaving a scorched imprint before disappearing in a flash of black flame.

Murdoc sat back.

'Fuck me.'


End file.
